Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
