R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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