fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
