Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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