it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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