Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
