My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize