My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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