farters have to be the big spoon...
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
