Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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