I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
