There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
