i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
