somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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