Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
