TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
