We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
dude. I can hear the air.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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