CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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