Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
