We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
