I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
