i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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