C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
