My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
