i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
where are my eyebrows?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
