A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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