Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Randomize
