The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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