Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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