dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
My liver just had a heart attack.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
