Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Randomize
