I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize