My balls are so social today.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Randomize
