My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
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the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
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how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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