Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
