Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize