New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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