I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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