Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Randomize
