I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I'm like, not good at living.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
