everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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