i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
