I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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