afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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