they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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