That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
