dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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