Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize