I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize