Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
