this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
