She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize