I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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