I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
