she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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