apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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