absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Im just a social blackout drinker.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
