When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
