I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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