I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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