what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
