Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I think my moral compass just broke
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