i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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